Caramel Debbie

The taste of a orange soda is orange. The taste of lemon-lime soda is lemon and lime. The taste of ginger ale is ... can you see it coming? ... ginger. The taste of Coke or Pepsi is... anyone?

Well, someone said that the taste of regular brown soda is a caramel flavor. Alright, fair enough. The problem is that the general term for caramel-flavored soda is "cola." That's just an ugly name, which is why you never hear someone say "I'll have a cola" or why people call Coca-Cola "Coke" or Pepsi Cola simply "Pepsi." "Cola" is just an ugly word, and as a service to the soda-drinking public, I've come up with a better name for it.

"Can I get you something to drink?"
"Sure, I'll have a Caramel Debbie."

How about that for a non-ugly name? "Caramel Debbie." It just conjures up an image of a freckled redhead with pigtails and overalls, only younger (and cuter) than that plain-and-tall awkward pre-teen Wendy. It's sweet, contains an accurate description of the flavor, and what kind of monster would think "I hate Caramel Debbie!" A Communist monster, that's who!

So the next time you're in a restaurant and the waiter asks what you'll have to drink, be sure to ask for a Caramel Debbie... or he'll think you're a Communist.