Cards and Thimbles or Sulfer and Brimstone?

Alright, that was cheap yesterday. They can't all be diamonds, or else diamonds would be crap. And where would that leave crap? Crap already has a bad lot in life, and I, for one, won't make it worse by devaluing diamonds. How socially responsible of me. Anyway, let's get to the heart of the matter:

David Copperfield is the devil.

More precisely, he's the deveel. That's like being the devil, except that saying "deveel" makes him that much more evil. It practically gives him a pointy goatee and a long twirl-ready moustache. Try it. "David Copperfield is the deveel."

I've been saying it for years, but was recently reminded of it. I'm not going to go the cheap route and make some joke about Copperfield needing hell-magic to have had Claudia Schiffer for a girlfriend. I'm better that, unless you count that declaration as the joke in which case I'm a cheap liar. Hey, it takes time to recover. Anyway, if you've ever seen Copperfield live, you might have seen him do things that can no longer be classified as magic. It's simply witchcraft. And who does witchcraft and is from New Jersey? The Deveel, David Copperfield, of course. QED and all that logic mumbo-jumbo.

I could, however, be wrong. Copperfield could simply be one of hell's generals. If that's the case, then Criss Angel is the deveel. Afterall, Criss Angel is the MindFreak (MINDFREAK!).I don't know if he's from New Jersey, but that's hardly the point. He does some crazy stuff on his show on A&E. Most of it is just illusion, but sometimes it's pure hellfire. Plus he's got long hair, wears eyeliner, and has segues that look as if they're filmed on the set of "Carnivale." Hell-fire, what else could it be?

By comparison, Lance Burton and Ricky Jay are both not the deveel. They're good old-fashioned magicians and you can watch their specials and attend their shows without fear of having your soul devoured. By further comparison, that level of safety cannot be guaranteed on the upcoming Martha Stewart version of "The Apprentice."

MindFreak or Glam Band Frontman?
You decide.

Today is "Shama Llama" Day! Ding dong? Ding dong indeed!