One Week Later, Miscellany Ensues

It's been a week since I've been a homeowner, and I don't feel any different. I expected to suddenly develop a manic obsession with do-it-myself plumbing or perhaps to start yelling at children on lawns. "Hey, you kids get off that lawn! I don't care if you do live there!" Surprisingly, I haven't done either in this past week.

I did, however, shovel my porch. That fact that it's not snowing and that I don't have a porch at my current residence (my apartment) made the task that much easier.

In all fairness, the lack of change could be because I've been a homeowner for a week and it's also been a week since I've seen my house. On the one hand, it's pretty nice because Paddy O'Wife is doing the painting and the cleaning and the bug-zapping. The painting and the cleaning I wouldn't have minded, but it's nice to get out of it none the less. What I wasn't looking forward to was bug-zapping, especially because some of these bugs are freakishly large considering their age.

Most, if not all, of those exoskeletoned freaks are not even a year old! Northern winters are like a frequent apocalypse for them. They lay their eggs, die, and the eggs hatch in the spring. By October some of these monsters are as big as a Volvo! Okay, as big as a model of a Volvo, but that's stlil still pretty damn big. That's okay, though, since they'll only have a few more months left before Doomsday. December might as well be announced by giant insect trumpets.

That, incidentally, was a reference to Revelations, the last book of the Bible and not that garbage mini-series starring the president from Independence Day. Poor Randy Quaid, I still feel bad for him, in part because he's Randy Quaid.

On the other hand -- before hitting that bug tangent -- I'm the sole packer doing all the packing. It. Sucks. Everything that's easily accessible for packing I'll probably still need for these next few weeks. Things like superwear (aka, "boxer briefs" for you squares), forks, and the bathtub can't just be thrown into a box. So I'm packing things like books and my fishtank, but there's only so much of each you can put into a box before it's so heavy that it crushes the bones in your foot.

Oh, I forgot to mention that I mysteriously broke my foot.

Look at this thing! It's a monster!!

Today is "Whack-A-Mole" Day! By the way, I didn't really break my foot. Yet.