The Cookware Hero, Part 4

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

"Ex- Excuse me," started the stranger, "what is that?"

Ricky, without even looking up, still chewing, said, "it's a spatula. I have a spatula for a hand. I once tried to pick up an egg belonging to an ostrich while the ostrich was present and it bit my hand clean off." Ricky swallowed his burger and continued with his obviously rehearsed explanation void of any emotion. "It then took off running, and it's never been seen since. If you see an ostrich on your way out of town, please try to hit it with your car. It's probably the ostrich that ate my hand, and that giant bird deserves it. It's pretty old by now, so it should be slow and easy to hit. And no, I won't let bygones be bygones. The giant bird ate my hand."

"Yes, I know," said the stranger. This caused Ricky to delay his next bite and look the man with a sliver of interest. There was nothing special about the man, so the only way to describe him would be to say he was nondescript.

"Been here before?" asked Ricky.

"Yeah, you've asked me to kill that ostrich about a dozen times now." The man did something that was also nondescript. "I see you added the bit to the end about the bird being old. Nice touch."

"Thanks," said Ricky. "So if you've been here before, then why'd you ask about my spatula-hand?"

"I didn't ask about your spatula-hand," the nondescript man said in a nondescript way. "What is that thing your eating?"

"Just a burger," said Ricky, some surprise finally coming into his voice. "Why?"

"I work for a food packaging company," said the man. "It's very bland work -- nondescript, really. But we're always on the lookout for something new to sell on a nation-wide scale. Let's talk about this burger of yours."

Thus was born the patty melt, so named for the town of Matty Melt, KA, after a small typographical error. Ricky, spatula for a hand and all, had finally made a difference. That difference can be ordered at every greasy truck stop shore to shore. And that difference, in homage to Ricky, is still made with a spatula.

The End.

Today is "Liquorama" Day! It's like Christmas, except a hangover is guaranteed.