My Fever Dream Creates a New Musician

When it snows it pours. -- Snow is worse than rain, so I've changed the saying. It's another one of my attempts to change society. Caribbean Coke, anyone?

I warned you that I'd be busy with school for a few weeks, but I didn't warn you that I'd catch the flu. That's probably because I didn't know I would catch the flu because if I did know that I would have tried to avoid it and therefore wouldn't have had to warn you in the first place. Great Scott! This is as perplexing as building my own flux capacitor.

So while I was in the backyard belonging to the house across the street from Death's Door, I had what some might call a fever-dream. I didn't have much of a fever, but it was crazy like a fever dream and Paddy O'Wife said that she can either deal with me being crazy or being sick, but not both. Hence, I have to call it a fever dream. And what I was doing in this fever dream? Rappin'!

Worry not, young one, I will not be creating my own rap. That was a debacle the last time and I refuse to even provide a link to that catastrophe. Well, maybe "refuse" is too harsh a word. Never the less, I will not be writing an original rap... I will parody one. I have to, it was destined in my fever dream.

Do I know which one I will parody? Damn skippy! The fever dream's background music was "In Da Club" by 50 Cent. As an aside, I think every 50 Cent song that you can buy online should be just $0.50. What's the deal with iTunes charging almost twice as much as the artist's name to download his song!? That's not right, and frankly it's misleading to the consumer. I'm not trying to be crazy and say a whole 50 Cent album should go for 50¢, but per song is fair. If the album "drops" with 20 songs, then sell it for $10. Just eight songs, and remixes at that? $2 (50 Cent didn't have to write the lyrics again, so that's half the work and half the price).

This is not only a value for consumers, but also for the artist because of the increased availability (thanks to the more financially-accessible price) that helps spread 50 Cent's brand image. -- Can you tell I've been doing lots of MBA coursework? Anyway... -- It's win-win, and new artists could have similar variations on a theme. I can almost hear the high-value, chart-topping sounds of Penny, Nickel, Dime, and Quarter, also known as Off the Change. "Hey, that CD is great! It's off the chain!" "No, it's Off the Change!"

Word.

Anyway, I'll be parody-rapping for you soon enough. I can't divulge what the topic of my version of "In Da Club" will be, but I can tell you my rapper name. I shall be... "Hex Digit".

...

Oh, c'mon, can't you see how perfect that is? Alright, here's the explanation -- but be warned, there's quite a bit of "geek" involved.

A byte is eight bits and is represented in hexidecimal notation as two "hex digits" (such as "1F" or "C3"). A single hex digit is a half byte. Now, recall the tune/cheer/saying "two bits, four bits, six bits, a dollar!" It means that two bits is 25¢ and eight bits is $1. And that means that four bits, a half byte that can represented by a hex digit in nerd terms, is 50 cents!!

Nerdy 50 Cent Hex Digit... OUT!

I have big shoes to fill.

Today is "Senamenakay" Day! Try saying it, it's fun! Senamenakay!