Happy Newness Trifecta!

Though it's a little late: Happy new month, quarter, and year! January 1st is such a versatile day, what some might even call a Newness Trifecta. I'm not really sure who those "some" are, but one of my new year resolutions is to get people to recognize January 1st as a Newness Trifecta. Congratulations, you're part of my resolutions.

Speaking of resolutions, why do people only make their unenforcable commitments only once a year? Given the Newness Trifecta, one would think that folks would make new year resolutions, new quarter resolutions, and new month resolutions. If you're not going to do something, you might as well not do something at various intervals. Who needs one giant dose of regret during the holidays for all the things you didn't do in the last eleven months? Spread the regret out throughout the year so that you don't dull the pain with a few gallons of egg nog. A bonus side effect is that you don't put on those egg nog pounds that you'll swear off at the Newness Trifecta. That's reason enough to adopt the Trifecta label.

So what are my resolutions? I'm glad you asked.

• Perfect my break-dancing routine.
• Continue my long-running "no death" streak.
• Create a new label for January 1st. Check!
• Read Moby Dick. Out loud. At 3:00am. In my bedroom.
• Not get divorced over a book-reading stunt.
• Learn to pronounce "reconnoiter".
• Create a Fortune 500 company specializing in nonsensical lists.
• Know when to hold 'em.
• Know when to fold 'em.

Since I already know when to walk away and when to run, I'll end this post now. Happy new year!

My cat isn't just my office-mate, he's my choreographer.

A missed opportunity: MC Hammer as a McDonald's spokesperson. The commercials write themselves!