About

Hello, and thanks for checking out my blog and particularly this page about the blog's author, ME! So let's get right to it. Here are the vitals:

Here are a series of questions you might or might not ask. Either way, I'll answer them.

So what does "cathartic nonsense" actually mean?

I've borrowed some words from dictionary.com to help me out here. "Catharsis" means "a purifying or figurative cleansing of the emotions" or "a release of emotional tension... that restores or refreshes the spirit." I'm sure you know what "nonsense" is. If so, put it all together. If not, that's life.

Wow, you're lazy. Explain further!

Okay, fine. In other words, the randomness that you see on this blog is, for me at least, a release -- a catharsis. I enjoy doing it and it makes me feel good. Sometimes I'm upset about something, so I try to put a humorous spin on it and get it out. Sometimes I just have a cauldron of crazy thoughts bubbling over and putting that lunacy on virtual paper is relaxing. However it originates, it's just entertainment that is not meant to be taken seriously. I hope you find it mildly amusing or rip-roaring funny or somewhere in between.

What's your problem with Patricia Heaton?

I have no problems with Patricia. She's a fine actress despite being only 17 inches tall.

What do you mean? You write her character, Debra Barone, (quasi-) mean letters.

Ah, now you're asking the right questions. Take note, Debra Barone and I have a correspondence. Patricia Heaton has nothing to do with that interchange. I'm exchanging letters with a television character, not a television actress. And for the record, I don't like Debra because she's mean 97.63% of the time to 99.985% of the people she encounters. I write to her because... well, "Everybody Loves Raymond" happened to be on one night while I was cooking up a blog post.

Then why do you continue to write letters to a television character?

Because she responds to my letters, and the least I can do is be polite and answer her replies. I'm not a caveman.

Do any of the events you write about happening to you actually happen to you?

I'd say that I actually experience about two-thirds of those events without the blatantly-crazy extras. The other one-third are entirely made up situations which I wish did happen to me so I could write about it factually and change this answer to a simple "Yes." But the short answer is "No."

How supportive is your wife through all of this craziness?

Very. She tells me enjoys reading this blog and never complains when she makes an appearance even as a vehicle for jokes. She's an absolutely vital part of my life and that's why Diablo Blanco, Paddy O'Wife, etc. surfaces at least every couple of weeks. She's incredibly supportive, has a fantastic sense of a humor, and possesses a superhuman level of patience. Without her, there'd be no reason to write, to smile, or to even get up in the morning.

Aw, that's sweet.

That's not a question, but thanks. It's the least I can do for DB.

Is there anything else?

Yes. I'll update this page as I think of things to add. Additionally, I'll try to answer any questions you send me. One way to send me questions is by the "email me" link on the right, near the top. Another way is by carrier pigeon. If you're feeling particularly lucky, you can send a message in a bottle via the Allegheny River. Whatever way you choose, updates will go under this picture, which happens to be one of my favorites.